A scourge of the Gen X, this problem's here to stay. I've been tubby ever since I could remember. The severity was not a lot during my early teenage but come my 17 and there it was.
Initially, I'd been away from my home for 10 years, studying in a boarding school at Puttaparthi. Back there, physical fitness was emphasized. We were made to get up early, freshen up, say our prayers and then ushered off an adjoining stadium. The fact that I was a tad heavier than the rest of the folks earned me an extra round of jogging. Come to think of it, it didn't hurt all that bad. But back then, I was a tithe of what I am now and carrying my weight around was a lot easier. We played some cricket/football/basketball depending on the availability of stuff and then carried on the rest of the day.
The above mobility did make me flexible though. I know a lot of fat people love to say that they're flexible although they're not! But I can touch my toes with my fingers without bending my knees. All ye flexible, beat that! I digress though. After my time at the school I came home to a loving mum who couldn't wait to dish out what she could conjure up in the kitchen. I slowly but steadily put on weight and became a healthy 75 by the time I started my graduation. Back in India, there was no real pressure as regards dating. The ones who got the girls were effeminate and we were studs! :) The point? I did not have enough drive in me to slim down. I tried in bits and pieces but the fat know that it's easier said than done!
I did my graduation, got me a nice girl (all due to my talking and empathizing as she claims) who later on went on to become my wife and I did all this without slimming down! I don't say it with a lot of pride though. Getting fit gives you a huge confidence boost; your heart's gratitude to you not counted. I can blame it all I want to on my sedentary job (I'm a member of that breed called software programmers), the weather et al. The fact remains that nothings going to happen unless I wish it, will it and stick by it.
I'll sign out as my 90 kilo frame craves for a snack now. It's this bloody job I tell you!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Commitment
Men are from Mars; Women from Venus. I've been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend for over 6 years now. And I'd like to stress on the word wonderful coz it's been a long distance relationship. Empathizers would appreciate the effort it takes to keep it ticking. Temptations and subsequent insecurity are amongst the vestigial emotions that creep in. Add to it the vagaries in the schedule, the difference in the ways men and women think and you have a neat little problem at hand.
It's quite dangerous how accustomed you can get to your daily schedule. As a male (and males are stupid when it comes to emotions), the only time I missed her was when I saw other couples canoodling or when I had time on my hand to while away. It was quite different with her. She preferred to stay alone (she likes her own space) and the emptiness of her house haunted her to no end as she returned from her school each day. Our talks were a whirl of me not being there for her and me sulking away for that. It's not that I did'nt want to be. The fact that she stayed in a different country compounded the problems.
This Feb (2007) when she came to India, I proposed to her (formally). Our wedding date has been fixed for the 4th of December 2007. She just had a bridal shower thrown for her by her pals down in the States. The females in my life (my girl and my mum), simply can't get enough of the readying for the wedding.
Needless to say, there has been a wonderful change in her attitude. Her empty house is no more "empty". She now looks at it as a home where we would live in, happily ever after.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Onsite!
The word holds tremendous depth. It's not just a word but a way of life. Its importance cannot be exaggerated for the plebs otherwise known as Software Engineers. You may wonder why I, time and again, revert to this unfortunate breed. I'm their lead bencher and I've lived my entire earning life being one of them! :)
When I joined Infy, I had no idea of the word's preponderance. I mean who would have imagined that it would be possible for a middle class person to go to "phoren" unless he got an excellent GRE & TOEFL scores (which I did) and a full scholarship (which I again did) and got his F-1 visa (which I did'nt; doubly comfirmed). Some of the folks I know did'nt get the first two but happily flew to the "phorenland" coz they had the third! The two visa rejections instilled this trepidation of "goras" in me; to the extent that I even started wondering whether I would ever clear ANY interview!
Gradually as I hopped jobs, the ANY interview fear was eradicated but the "gora" interview fear still clinged on. The intensity diminished though not because I grew in confidence but because slowly the realization dawned on me that a "phoren" trip may remain a dream after all. And it was not because of my performance. Far from it. I stood the 5th amongst 180 students despite having a Chemical Engineering background in the Infy evaluation exam which was administered after 4 months of intensive training. A nicely screwed up randomized system decides who goes into which project and its the project which decides an onsite opportunity. Well, it stayed this way for 3.5 years.
I then joined Capgemini and grew quickly into an indispensable resource. Honestly, I'd attribute my rise to the paucity of resources in the technology I work in. But then again, it never harms to grab a bit of credit :). I got this chance to work for a client in the UK. The place, London. The difference from earlier projects? This had an onsite opportunity! Yours truly unhesitatingly volunteered for the trip, submitted his passport and even got the visa! Where's the "gora" interview fear gone, you may ask. Sir, the time I applied for the UK visa, the Queen's embassy thought it quite unnecessary to conduct interviews. I should admit that I was shit scared till I got back my passport that my passport would contain a beautiful UK rejection. You have to ask my wife about the hell she underwent during the "uncertain" period. Fortunately, the stars and the company name worked in my favor and I undertook a lovely 3 month trip to London (more on the trip in another post).
I finally got the Onsite after 3.5 years in the Software Industry. A long period by any standards but I'd gotten it and that's what mattered. It is extremely important to have that first break. Everything automatically falls in place after that.
You know what? I no longer needed to crib about folks with lesser IQ being in foreign lands while I "languished" in India. Why, I even found out that the onsite thing is not as great as the never-been-abroad folks make it out to be. But then no one understands it based on hearsay. Experience is the ONLY teacher.
When I joined Infy, I had no idea of the word's preponderance. I mean who would have imagined that it would be possible for a middle class person to go to "phoren" unless he got an excellent GRE & TOEFL scores (which I did) and a full scholarship (which I again did) and got his F-1 visa (which I did'nt; doubly comfirmed). Some of the folks I know did'nt get the first two but happily flew to the "phorenland" coz they had the third! The two visa rejections instilled this trepidation of "goras" in me; to the extent that I even started wondering whether I would ever clear ANY interview!
Gradually as I hopped jobs, the ANY interview fear was eradicated but the "gora" interview fear still clinged on. The intensity diminished though not because I grew in confidence but because slowly the realization dawned on me that a "phoren" trip may remain a dream after all. And it was not because of my performance. Far from it. I stood the 5th amongst 180 students despite having a Chemical Engineering background in the Infy evaluation exam which was administered after 4 months of intensive training. A nicely screwed up randomized system decides who goes into which project and its the project which decides an onsite opportunity. Well, it stayed this way for 3.5 years.
I then joined Capgemini and grew quickly into an indispensable resource. Honestly, I'd attribute my rise to the paucity of resources in the technology I work in. But then again, it never harms to grab a bit of credit :). I got this chance to work for a client in the UK. The place, London. The difference from earlier projects? This had an onsite opportunity! Yours truly unhesitatingly volunteered for the trip, submitted his passport and even got the visa! Where's the "gora" interview fear gone, you may ask. Sir, the time I applied for the UK visa, the Queen's embassy thought it quite unnecessary to conduct interviews. I should admit that I was shit scared till I got back my passport that my passport would contain a beautiful UK rejection. You have to ask my wife about the hell she underwent during the "uncertain" period. Fortunately, the stars and the company name worked in my favor and I undertook a lovely 3 month trip to London (more on the trip in another post).
I finally got the Onsite after 3.5 years in the Software Industry. A long period by any standards but I'd gotten it and that's what mattered. It is extremely important to have that first break. Everything automatically falls in place after that.
You know what? I no longer needed to crib about folks with lesser IQ being in foreign lands while I "languished" in India. Why, I even found out that the onsite thing is not as great as the never-been-abroad folks make it out to be. But then no one understands it based on hearsay. Experience is the ONLY teacher.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Procrastination
Aaarghh!! Lemme brush away the new sheath that the monster(?) suffocates me with and actually get down to writing this.
There have been innumerable cases wherein supposedly brilliant individuals (or so they thought) have been subjugated by this savage. Ironically, it creeps upto you so silently, you'd be a master to actually realize that you are in hostile territory. What you actually get to see is just fat pay, no/less work, good girls and endless time for self-development. You just have to look through it. You're gettin stuck in a mire. Nossir! There's no self-development. You just a fat bum!
And how does the hostility strike you? Through it's clarity. It's clear that you are getting wasted but there's nothing you can do about it. A case in point? I took up and completed this post after 3 months! Jezus.........
There have been innumerable cases wherein supposedly brilliant individuals (or so they thought) have been subjugated by this savage. Ironically, it creeps upto you so silently, you'd be a master to actually realize that you are in hostile territory. What you actually get to see is just fat pay, no/less work, good girls and endless time for self-development. You just have to look through it. You're gettin stuck in a mire. Nossir! There's no self-development. You just a fat bum!
And how does the hostility strike you? Through it's clarity. It's clear that you are getting wasted but there's nothing you can do about it. A case in point? I took up and completed this post after 3 months! Jezus.........
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Insensate
The phone rang loudly, rudely waking from her disturbed slumber. The timepiece besides her bed let her know that it was 1:00. A glance outside her window confirmed that the night was still young. She pulled the sheets closer to counter the chill blast of wind that hit her through the open window. She reminded herself to fix the broken window pane. Her inconsistent and miserly pay did not help ameliorate the situation. The incessant rings of the phone jerked her back to consciousness jarring her already frazzled nerves. Would she be able to handle it this time around?
She hated this job. She promised herself that she would try to regain the receptionist’s job that she had left. Painful memories of her being taken advantage trying to hit on her rushed back, making her nauseous. Prospects of a better experience this time around quenched her resistance and she picked up the phone. It was from the Smiths who lived 2 streets away. It was not difficult to miss their huge mansion as you walked to the market. Not that she made frequent trips to the market. She got dressed and was on her way. She had to be careful to alter her appearance at each outing so that people would not recognize her. She grimaced at the irony of the situation.
The cold wind seemed to complete the overall picture of cheerlessness. She evaded a drunken man who lay in the garbage dump. He swore at her and passed lewd comments. She had grown used to it. What could a lonely widow do? A pall of gloom descended on her as she neared the Smith’s residence. She remembered playing with their grubby child, Timmy. Their nanny was one of her few friends. She fervently wished and hoped it would not be Timmy. The loud wailing that she heard at the Smith’s did not disturb her. She wondered to herself whether she had gone so cold so as to block off any emotion. She walked in and kneeled next to the cadaver. It was Timmy. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She sobbed uncontrollably as she had learnt to. Just this time, real tears were concomitants to the artificial ones. Why was it that god had to snatch away the persons that she knew?
Her friend and colleague had to remind her to control herself and not to make it all overdramatic. Subtlety was indispensable in her profession too. After everyone had left, she and her colleague went up to Mrs. Smith and collected their dues. Now she could have the window pane fixed.
She trudged back home, wiped the glycerin off her face, mixed herself a drink and waited for the next call. A Mourner has irregular job hours......
She hated this job. She promised herself that she would try to regain the receptionist’s job that she had left. Painful memories of her being taken advantage trying to hit on her rushed back, making her nauseous. Prospects of a better experience this time around quenched her resistance and she picked up the phone. It was from the Smiths who lived 2 streets away. It was not difficult to miss their huge mansion as you walked to the market. Not that she made frequent trips to the market. She got dressed and was on her way. She had to be careful to alter her appearance at each outing so that people would not recognize her. She grimaced at the irony of the situation.
The cold wind seemed to complete the overall picture of cheerlessness. She evaded a drunken man who lay in the garbage dump. He swore at her and passed lewd comments. She had grown used to it. What could a lonely widow do? A pall of gloom descended on her as she neared the Smith’s residence. She remembered playing with their grubby child, Timmy. Their nanny was one of her few friends. She fervently wished and hoped it would not be Timmy. The loud wailing that she heard at the Smith’s did not disturb her. She wondered to herself whether she had gone so cold so as to block off any emotion. She walked in and kneeled next to the cadaver. It was Timmy. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She sobbed uncontrollably as she had learnt to. Just this time, real tears were concomitants to the artificial ones. Why was it that god had to snatch away the persons that she knew?
Her friend and colleague had to remind her to control herself and not to make it all overdramatic. Subtlety was indispensable in her profession too. After everyone had left, she and her colleague went up to Mrs. Smith and collected their dues. Now she could have the window pane fixed.
She trudged back home, wiped the glycerin off her face, mixed herself a drink and waited for the next call. A Mourner has irregular job hours......
Monday, June 12, 2006
Sociality [n] - the tendency to associate with others and to form social groups
Hardly would a human tendency be as underplayed as this one is. A Libran by birth (and they are born introverts, all right) and a progressively discreet extrovert by nature, I've learnt it, mostly, the hard way.
An introvert, when inducted into new surroundings, is extremely wary and spends a huge chunk of time initially just testing waters. He is wary of saying things which may hurt oldies, yet, he is desparate to throw in his bit of witticisms, hoping to impress them. A classic case in point is when you are a child and your folks shift base to a new locality, you visit the nearby playground to exhaust your juvenile enthusiasm. You envy the other children playing. Your first reaction? You stand besides the "leader", as it may be, and try and sweet talk your way into his heart and eventually into the group.
I've never understood the want as far as gaining acceptance into pre-formed groups is concerned. Having said that, I'd be the first person you'd see doing the exact thing mentioned. And, the answer's just bloody sociality! Ironically, an extant group (and I've been in some) generates in itself the greatest resistance to the new entrant. As a part of the group, you'd feel immense satisfaction in gratuitously pointing out small follies in him and thus demeaning his candidature as far as inclusion into the group may be concerned.
Methinks, the only pre-requisite, if you will, should be the way he thinks and gels with you. It'd be extremely unfair on him if you were to judge him on his:
An introvert, when inducted into new surroundings, is extremely wary and spends a huge chunk of time initially just testing waters. He is wary of saying things which may hurt oldies, yet, he is desparate to throw in his bit of witticisms, hoping to impress them. A classic case in point is when you are a child and your folks shift base to a new locality, you visit the nearby playground to exhaust your juvenile enthusiasm. You envy the other children playing. Your first reaction? You stand besides the "leader", as it may be, and try and sweet talk your way into his heart and eventually into the group.
I've never understood the want as far as gaining acceptance into pre-formed groups is concerned. Having said that, I'd be the first person you'd see doing the exact thing mentioned. And, the answer's just bloody sociality! Ironically, an extant group (and I've been in some) generates in itself the greatest resistance to the new entrant. As a part of the group, you'd feel immense satisfaction in gratuitously pointing out small follies in him and thus demeaning his candidature as far as inclusion into the group may be concerned.
Methinks, the only pre-requisite, if you will, should be the way he thinks and gels with you. It'd be extremely unfair on him if you were to judge him on his:
- nationality (aka racism; not trying to get on to the Shilpa Shetty gravy train here)
- the great indian northie-southie divide (you'd be extremely conversant with this if you were a North Indian working in Bangalore)
- looks (it's hard to ignore the high percentage of the reject-cases that fall into this sect. Studies have proven that better-lookers have a headstart at whatever they venture out to do. Having said that, the ugly are burdened with a low self-esteem, which may explain the above statement)
- pelf-power (an antidote to the ugly problem. Its another story that the rich are never ugly!)
Now, I'd be honest enough to admit that I've exploited others using the above. At the same time, I've been victimised too. Isn't it funny we cry out for justice only when we're the persecuted? As the tyrannous, the world's just a fine playground. Go ahead. It's our to plunder!
Friday, March 10, 2006
Career Blues......Leaving Infy
there comes a time in ur life when u feel really stagnated.......at infy i had started to feel the same way.....i mean gettin stuck in a damn IBU which would neither process my visa nor give me work, forced me to re-think whether i should be workin for infy....ergo, some news for ya....I had asked my DM for arelease....he said that I would be most probably released by this weekend or the middle of next week max.....woopsie daises!!.....…soI guess it all ended a bit prematurely....i was sorta expecting to stay this month in infy....but then I'll cheer myself up by sayin that whatever happens, happens for the best....i would most probably haul my ass up to Nagpur and then spend the rest of my month there....would be back in pune on the april 1st....and no april fool joke this....it feels weird....i guess u have to brace urself up for this feeling of torrid solitude when u take such a major step like say leavin a company....but then lemme assure u, it hits u in the pit of ur stomach when u realize that things are never gonna be the same again.....i guess some things just are meant to be taken head on and cant be dealt with pure prescience....i have got a job in a company called torry harris business solutions in bangalore and would be shiftin base from pune.......it gives me a cool pay and would most probably send me onsite within anyear.......so dats dat for me infy......this friday the 10th is my last day in infy......would really miss infy.......but they cant snatch away all of u, my memories from me.......
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