The USA - Experiences and Such...

I write this post for 2 reasons. One, I'm on the verge of completion of two years in the US and two, I don't want 2009 to go by without a single post! As it is with a new place, some things were learned and some unlearned. Loads of new places visited and at times, nostalgia for home invoked. A whole new host of cuisines tried and loyalty for Indian food re-affirmed. Unless laziness takes over, I plan to create a post of each of the 3 sentences prior to this one. Some happenings:

• I realized that left-wheel (right side) driving is much more tougher than imagined! I had to un-learn the "lawless" driving back home and then learn the new stuff. Now with around 5k miles under my belt though, its a breeze.
• It is a huge unholy nexus that H1-B pimps have built up here. They get paid for the work you do. That being said, it's the same with companies back home. It just hurts more when visible.
  
• I hate Mexican food and luurrrve Thai.
• Cooking and eating is good. Case in point: I lost 18 lbs. Either I'm a lousy cook or the food outside has way too many calories. That being said, I cook pretty palatable now.
  
• Falling into a credit card debt cycle is a cakewalk.
• Living away from wifey sucks. Considering the economy, I was lucky to have a steady job but it was on an average, a 4 hr flight away from where wifey worked.
• An extra pair of glasses is indispensable.
• Natural beauty and ease of access here is nonpareil.
• The question - "Are you going to settle in the USA or return to India?" is pretty tough to answer.

More to elaborate and more to come...

Discipline

Living; there's no point in it if there's no discipline to guide you. This is my first serious posting of any nature.

I relive with dread, the memories, when the teachers in my boarding school led us through physical and mental exercise. I have spent the rest of my non-school life doing everything I can to rebel against the values instilled in me then. I smoke, drink, eat unhealthy, don't exercise, don't read to improve my technological skills. The worst part is I bloody know I'm wrong. I even know what I have to do to change myself. That's not enough though, is it?

I need to get my life back on track. I will not go into the intricate details that I plan to enforce upon myself. You live just once. I'll do a bit of everything but at the same time, care for the vehicle that my soul has been given. Also, while I'm at it, I'll make the journey worthwhile.

A Change for the Better

The subject would seem alien to bachelors. Of course, as always, there are exceptions but I speak for the majority. For the breed of males who show a promise of acting up to their parent's hopes in the earlier years but then gradually spiral into depravity. For those people who are well off in the financial sense (this translates into a tad more than just making ends meet) but have gotten their now-spent wealth through no real hard work of theirs.

After my engineering, I started off my career with Infosys. It may seem all nice and bright in the press but the labor class (read software engineers) know the dark facts. Then again, I digress. The lucky get no work and get paid for other people's efforts. Fortunately, I fell into the lucky class! Not that I minded it but then one gets ensconced in this sense of security. It makes you believe that going forth, life would be as easy. You could spend your entire life there without moving an inch and retire easy on your stock options. That's the reason why they say its so difficult to study once you start earning. You may have heard it before, but I've experienced it. Five years passed. Inherently a convincer of people, I changed companies to lay my hands on a better salary. To summarize the picture was something like this: A tubby guy who earned proportional to his weight and with no ambitions.

Then it happened. Marriage. Resigning from the job and moving to the US. Searching a job and finding one. Till now, I was never "responsible" in that I never sent any substantial amount of money to my parents, never cared to increase my knowledge, never cared to change my technology. I found a job in a different city than the one in which my wife was. I went to the new city, learnt cooking(!), acclimatized myself to the fact that in the US you have to clean your own shit. This was HUGE for me. I mean back in India, I never had to worry about learning how to cook or manage my finances or even walking a short distance for that matter. I am in the process of learning all this. Also I now know how important it is to be thankful to people. To use Sheetal's favorite dialogue, "We live and learn". Earlier, I just lived! :)

As of now, my wife is on the verge of finishing her PhD and she's already gotten a postdoctoral position in Harvard (yep, you heard it right!). As for me, I'm real real proud of what she's achieved. I know what she's been through to get it. She'll be moving to Boston in the last week of August. With my newfound outlook towards life, I have packed enough zeal in me to learn a new technology (Oracle DBA) and find a job in Boston for the same.

I'll let you guys know how things go. Cheers!

Weight Problems

A scourge of the Gen X, this problem's here to stay. I've been tubby ever since I could remember. The severity was not a lot during my early teenage but come my 17 and there it was.

Initially, I'd been away from my home for 10 years, studying in a boarding school at Puttaparthi. Back there, physical fitness was emphasized. We were made to get up early, freshen up, say our prayers and then ushered off an adjoining stadium. The fact that I was a tad heavier than the rest of the folks earned me an extra round of jogging. Come to think of it, it didn't hurt all that bad. But back then, I was a tithe of what I am now and carrying my weight around was a lot easier. We played some cricket/football/basketball depending on the availability of stuff and then carried on the rest of the day.

The above mobility did make me flexible though. I know a lot of fat people love to say that they're flexible although they're not! But I can touch my toes with my fingers without bending my knees. All ye flexible, beat that! I digress though. After my time at the school I came home to a loving mum who couldn't wait to dish out what she could conjure up in the kitchen. I slowly but steadily put on weight and became a healthy 75 by the time I started my graduation. Back in India, there was no real pressure as regards dating. The ones who got the girls were effeminate and we were studs! :) The point? I did not have enough drive in me to slim down. I tried in bits and pieces but the fat know that it's easier said than done!

I did my graduation, got me a nice girl (all due to my talking and empathizing as she claims) who later on went on to become my wife and I did all this without slimming down! I don't say it with a lot of pride though. Getting fit gives you a huge confidence boost; your heart's gratitude to you not counted. I can blame it all I want to on my sedentary job (I'm a member of that breed called software programmers), the weather et al. The fact remains that nothings going to happen unless I wish it, will it and stick by it.

I'll sign out as my 90 kilo frame craves for a snack now. It's this bloody job I tell you!

Commitment

Men are from Mars; Women from Venus. I've been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend for over 6 years now. And I'd like to stress on the word wonderful coz it's been a long distance relationship. Empathizers would appreciate the effort it takes to keep it ticking. Temptations and subsequent insecurity are amongst the vestigial emotions that creep in. Add to it the vagaries in the schedule, the difference in the ways men and women think and you have a neat little problem at hand.

It's quite dangerous how accustomed you can get to your daily schedule. As a male (and males are stupid when it comes to emotions), the only time I missed her was when I saw other couples canoodling or when I had time on my hand to while away. It was quite different with her. She preferred to stay alone (she likes her own space) and the emptiness of her house haunted her to no end as she returned from her school each day. Our talks were a whirl of me not being there for her and me sulking away for that. It's not that I did'nt want to be. The fact that she stayed in a different country compounded the problems.

This Feb (2007) when she came to India, I proposed to her (formally). Our wedding date has been fixed for the 4th of December 2007. She just had a bridal shower thrown for her by her pals down in the States. The females in my life (my girl and my mum), simply can't get enough of the readying for the wedding.

Needless to say, there has been a wonderful change in her attitude. Her empty house is no more "empty". She now looks at it as a home where we would live in, happily ever after.

Onsite!

The word holds tremendous depth. It's not just a word but a way of life. Its importance cannot be exaggerated for the plebs otherwise known as Software Engineers. You may wonder why I, time and again, revert to this unfortunate breed. I'm their lead bencher and I've lived my entire earning life being one of them! :)

When I joined Infy, I had no idea of the word's preponderance. I mean who would have imagined that it would be possible for a middle class person to go to "phoren" unless he got an excellent GRE & TOEFL scores (which I did) and a full scholarship (which I again did) and got his F-1 visa (which I did'nt; doubly comfirmed). Some of the folks I know did'nt get the first two but happily flew to the "phorenland" coz they had the third! The two visa rejections instilled this trepidation of "goras" in me; to the extent that I even started wondering whether I would ever clear ANY interview!

Gradually as I hopped jobs, the ANY interview fear was eradicated but the "gora" interview fear still clinged on. The intensity diminished though not because I grew in confidence but because slowly the realization dawned on me that a "phoren" trip may remain a dream after all. And it was not because of my performance. Far from it. I stood the 5th amongst 180 students despite having a Chemical Engineering background in the Infy evaluation exam which was administered after 4 months of intensive training. A nicely screwed up randomized system decides who goes into which project and its the project which decides an onsite opportunity. Well, it stayed this way for 3.5 years.

I then joined Capgemini and grew quickly into an indispensable resource. Honestly, I'd attribute my rise to the paucity of resources in the technology I work in. But then again, it never harms to grab a bit of credit :). I got this chance to work for a client in the UK. The place, London. The difference from earlier projects? This had an onsite opportunity! Yours truly unhesitatingly volunteered for the trip, submitted his passport and even got the visa! Where's the "gora" interview fear gone, you may ask. Sir, the time I applied for the UK visa, the Queen's embassy thought it quite unnecessary to conduct interviews. I should admit that I was shit scared till I got back my passport that my passport would contain a beautiful UK rejection. You have to ask my wife about the hell she underwent during the "uncertain" period. Fortunately, the stars and the company name worked in my favor and I undertook a lovely 3 month trip to London (more on the trip in another post).

I finally got the Onsite after 3.5 years in the Software Industry. A long period by any standards but I'd gotten it and that's what mattered. It is extremely important to have that first break. Everything automatically falls in place after that.

You know what? I no longer needed to crib about folks with lesser IQ being in foreign lands while I "languished" in India. Why, I even found out that the onsite thing is not as great as the never-been-abroad folks make it out to be. But then no one understands it based on hearsay. Experience is the ONLY teacher.

Procrastination

Aaarghh!! Lemme brush away the new sheath that the monster(?) suffocates me with and actually get down to writing this.

There have been innumerable cases wherein supposedly brilliant individuals (or so they thought) have been subjugated by this savage. Ironically, it creeps upto you so silently, you'd be a master to actually realize that you are in hostile territory. What you actually get to see is just fat pay, no/less work, good girls and endless time for self-development. You just have to look through it. You're gettin stuck in a mire. Nossir! There's no self-development. You just a fat bum!

And how does the hostility strike you? Through it's clarity. It's clear that you are getting wasted but there's nothing you can do about it. A case in point? I took up and completed this post after 3 months! Jezus.........